Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
