I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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