Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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