you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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