Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
