okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
