i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
