If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
