He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
