How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
