and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
