I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
