the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
