I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
