When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
