i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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