There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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