i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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