whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
