i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
