I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
