her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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