he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
