Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just forgot I was standing up.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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