yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
