Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
