Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
