this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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