i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
