hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
