and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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