Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
