I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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