I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
