I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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