So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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