He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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