not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
