I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
two words: eviction party
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
