Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
