at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
