i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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