erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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