Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
