My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is wine microwaveable?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
