ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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