i may or may not be watching the land before time
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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