i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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