I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
