he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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