we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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