He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
