Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
